Candy Crush Saga turns smart phone users into broken down crack whores.  You get five lives that run out faster than a bad turn at pinball, and then, as you are left bleeding on the pavement, you get coerced to spend money on useless power-ups and other bullshit trinkets.   If you wisely decide to opt out of paying, you can saddle up down the road of costless preservation as you are annoyingly forced upon your Facebook pals to implore them for another round of candy crack.  Although it’s not exactly the most original video game to date, it is the most useless form of addiction and one of the most lucrative apps, but after a while, it becomes just as exciting as a Candyland board game climax.

The heads behind Honest Trailers finally decided to serve up some licorice flavored ass whipping to King, the makers of Candy Crush Saga, so check out this most hysterical video.  And to all my Facebook friends, I am sorry for all the useless candied harassment that you have endured.