Snookie has her own show. That is MTV in a nutshell these days, so for some odd reason, they have this thing called the Video Music Awards where they honor the best in music videos. I always manage to take in the mayhem every year, and it is getting progressively worse, but this year’s show really took the blue ribbon for the world’s largest pile of shit, and it pretty much was no different than the Nickelodeon Awards minus the drugs.
Kevin Hart, this year’s host, was no different than the annoying crackhead on line at your local supermarket, and his intros sounded like a coke addict loaded on 5-Hour energy shots. Face it Mr. Hart, you are annoying everyone by thinking you’re funny. The honorees were seated in bleacher style seating like a high school pep rally full of misfits, and the worst moment was when some fucking 5 member boy band wooed all the girls in the pit, whose screams could send a pack of dogs drowning themselves in the pool to escape their high-pitched screeches. Finally, when an actual musician performed, it was Alicia Keys, and it appeared like she couldn’t even hit a note with a bazooka, and her song “Girl on Fire” was a morphed pop n’ roll sack of crap that couldn’t attract maggots. I guess this explains why profits are low for the record labels. One cool thing was that they had a DJ, Calvin Harris, segue to commercials instead of the usual band, but he was hidden behind a stack of triangular light fixtures that looked like the set of Thor, and he did not actually mix anything but drinks.
I remember a time when the VMAs were rallying as close competitors to the Grammys, but the master minds at corporate decided to go against the grain of musical talent, and decided to make it a New Year’s Eve joyride- ALL OVER AGAIN. Like I need this shit on my screen…
MTV: I ask you to please change the name of the MTV Video Music Awards to just The MTV Awards because it’s not about the music anymore; it’s about MTV and what it has turned into with their hideous demographic. I still want my MTV. (MTV2 just doesn’t cut it.) Where’s the music!!!