I remember when I was little boy I made my mom buy me this Slinky toy.  It was cold, metal, and an absolute crap-filled horror to play with.  The commercial showed a bunch of excited kids with smiles and had the slithery toy going down stairs and creeping all over the place.  After finally getting it out the box, all I remember is how much I hated that toy as it slowly rusted up over the years next to my Star Wars figures.  The sheer joy of cradling it in my arms never occurred, just a marketing myth.

Then, along comes this Asian wonder boy who pretty much insults my dismal Slinky skills and leaves me squeamishly jealous after watching his trick video.  I hope a 30-foot python mistakens you for a rainbow-colored garden snake and screws the shit out of you -BASTARD!