Enough of “Stairway To Heaven”

It is a classic that has been time honored and played to death in all its elaborate ten minutes of blues oriented classic rock ferver.  It is a ballad, an air-guitar favorite, and most of all a bona fide generation defining song that captures the pure essence of brilliant song arrangement, but I am fucking sick of it.

On this sweltering July day, I was walking, minding my own fucking business, when I heard it chiming through the humid musky air, coupled with the smell of lighter-fluid-drenched coal: a molotov cocktail, if you will, of air pollution in the broadest sense.  So, I had made up my mind and decided that I can only continue to live with the lesser of two evils: the lighter-fluid stench.  Enough is enough!  People, WE MUST RETIRE “Stairway To Heaven” off, and do away with it once and for all.

I don’t know how many people will agree with me when I say that it has been bludgeoned to death for the last forty or so years from speaker to speaker across this vast planet, and embedded in the memory banks of millions and millions of heads throughout time.  Enough…  Please.  We have managed to kill this great song, and I am pleading with millions of classic rock fans to kindly remove it from your “favorites” playlist, and just give it an episodal honorable mention from time to time; like we really give a shit. Trust me, we all fucking know what it sounds like.  We really don’t need to hear this song anymore.  There are thousands of other Led Zeppelin songs that will gladly fill the time slot.  Wanna know why FM radio is dying?  Take a wild guess?  Station programmers are about as deep as a kiddie pool.  You want Zep?  Try playing some of my favorites: “The Rain Song” or “Tea For One” or “In My Time of Dying” or “No Quarter”  Just some ideas…  Led Zep will thank you, and so will many well versed ears.  Thank YOU!!!

Remember: HIT DELETE; it won’t hurt.  TRUST ME.

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